The Knight in Shining Armor allegory arises from the man saving the woman from the dragon that is within her. If a man is unable to accomplish that task, he quickly loses his luster in her eyes.
Some of the saddest relationships have been those in which the woman says, “I really don't know why we got married.” To be sure, there was sex. There may even have been children. But there was no lasting intimacy. The two did not become one.
On that level, it does not much matter whom someone marries. It is a marriage of convenience rather than a partnership. In retrospect, so much of what they shared together was faked.
Conversely, if a woman has emotional baggage – and most women harbor latent guilt and frustration within themselves – and the man is able to lift it from her, so that she can become the true person trapped within herself, then she will be come his. Sadly, if her burden is not lifted from her – liberating her from the dragon of her seething thoughts and maddening swirl of ideas – then she is still held in the castle of her mind zealously guarded by the dragon.
The frustration of trying to claw her own way out of the stone-like dungeon into which her dragon has placed her only adds to her anger – which she often takes out on the man whom she, subconsciously at least, thought would rescue her. Bickering, faultfinding, and dissatisfaction grow until the dragon consumes her, and she becomes the beast that once held her soul captive.
There are no knights in her mind. She sees only weak men beyond the printed and televised romance novels into which she so desperately tries to escape her plight. As the woman scorned in her own mind, she may even plunge into prescriptions and alcohol in an effort to escape her plight. She may even try to prove her worth by spinning straw into gold in the hope of being rescued by a king.
To be dominated is to be led – sometimes dragged – through the various halls, up the stairs, and through the doors of her mind until the woman emerges into the bright sunlight of martial bliss in the arms of the man who cared enough to rescue her. There, safe from the dragon that held her captive, she is free to be held, wooed, and loved as she never thought possible.
Only then will she see her knight. Until then, the man in her life might as well be just another toad hopping about, gobbling insects, and leaving droppings.
Well, let's face it, most men are a bit of both, aren't they? Sometimes they're more knightlike, sometimes the toad is uppermost. Nobody's one thing or the other all the time, are they? Well, mine isn't anyway. I'm not sure I want to be liberated from my seething thoughts and swirl of ideas, I mean I'm usually thinking about a dozen or so things at once, I always thought this was normal. As for the bright sunlight of martial bliss, well it's never sunny ALL the time in any marriage, is it? I can't help feeling this person has been reading too much Barbara Cartland: his or her expectations of marriage seem to me to be rather too high. But then I always preferred the fairy tales where the heroine was the one who had the adventures, rather than just sitting around waiting to be rescued, Kate Crackernuts for instance, or Mully Whuppie or Tamlane or Fitcher's Bird or Mister Fox.
In my own case, I generally found that an opportunity would arise when the man in my life would say something like "if you do such-and-such again, I'll spank you" in a semi-serious way, and so I would do it, and then he did (of course there were men who said they would and then they didn't, those relationships never lasted long.) Or he'd say "I ought to spank you for doing that" and I'd say provocatively "well, why don't you then?" It worked out quite well like that with my husband and several previous relationships. Of course, the serious DD thing is a bit different, I'm not sure there's any way of introducing that other than by saying directly that it's what you want, that's what I had to do anyway. I wasn't sure that my husband would be able to do it for real as it were, but he seems to be managing pretty well so far. We haven't had a row now for nearly two months, and that has to be some kind of record for us. How far do you want him to control your life? I, for instance, already had a fair idea of what things I did (or didn't do) that annoyed him, it was comparatively easy to make the necessary adjustments, and comparatively easy for him to exact the appropriate penalty if I transgressed. Talk to your husband about what you want, it's the only way.
We all have it in us or almost certainly we would not still be with our partners........ Be yourself, give yourself, trust YOURSELF, trust your partner... understand that your TOTAL surrender can only lead to your total freedom... When you have nothing to lose you can only gain, for ever, more and more, your total freedom within your surrender... It really works... and gives a love that you never imagined was there... I know, I am Ben, and it took 30 plus years to find it.. I was slow, my lovely other was brighter, but we got there and never want to leave.